Maggie, a teacher in a child care center, and Latesha, a parent of a 4-year-old boy (Cameron), have a conversation about working together and learning from one another. This conversation highlights making shared decisions. (running time: 5 min. 23 sec.)
And I also wanted to thank you for Grandma Shirley. I know you told me that she would be willing to help us out but I had no idea how useful and beneficial that would be for us. So she, you got her to go on the Pumpkin Patch field trip with us and it was just great. I know she had to tell you that, that Cameron did beautifully but not only was she a big help with him and it was special for him but she also helped the whole group.
But I wanted to talk to you, because I wondered how everything’s going at home. How’s Cameron doing at home? How’s he feeling? Is he the same old same old? What’s going on?
Well I think now that Grandma Shirley has started a new job, she has cut back on a little of the time that she was spending with Cameron of course. And I think that’s starting to take a toll on how he’s starting to behave a little bit at home. I don’t know. Have you seen any of that?
Well, you know I mentioned to you at pickup the other day that he had a couple of angry outbursts and I didn’t know where that was coming from. He got really mad at Chingun and he yelled at Chingun and it was over a marker and there were plenty other markers. And I just thought, you know, I’m checking the environment. And checking around, thinking is somebody setting him off? And so, I wondered what might be on his mind.
Yeah, I think like I said part of that. And also I started school this fall, so and I am also not there as much two afternoons out of the week. And he’s been having to go with my grandmother who’s his great grandmother. She is a lot older so she’s not as active with Cameron as my mom was before. So I think some of that is starting to wear on Cameron as well. But like I said, it’s very hard when you’re a single parent to really find someone who can come and to take care of him in the afternoons. I think that plays a big role in his behavior. And so what we’ve tried to do is, I’ve tried to come up with solutions to set some limits. And you know, still be able to try to understand and be more understanding with his behavior and how he’s acting at school.
Maggie asks Latesha about strategies she is using at home.
We are trying to, like you said, come up with some solutions and strategies at home. And one of the things, like I said before is just letting him know. My mom talks to him. She calls and she talks with him. We also have a little prize treasure box. And we also try to take special time out where we’re just doing activity and things. I just set aside a small amount of time where it’s just Cameron and I. And on my mom’s day off, she usually will come and get him. And sometimes she’ll pick him up early. I don’t know if last week or so, you saw when she came in early. Just one of those days to get off to come and spend some extra time with him. So I think once it maps out it after awhile that it will get better.
Oh that’s so good to hear. And I like all your ideas, they sound great. I mean, he is obviously feeling a little left out with everyone’s busy lives and so just being able to acknowledge that for him I think will be helpful. Like ‘You’re missing Grandma Shirley’ or ‘I heard Grandma Shirley is working a new job’ and just highlighting when he is going to see her and pulling out the books that he loves to read that might somehow relate to that would be a good idea. But in particular I like your idea about giving him some special time, being proactive, if we set a time in our day where I know that he typically, well it’s for all kids but you know, we always see it is the transition from clean up to into lunch so he is motivated to get to lunch but nobody likes clean up. And I just wonder if I could take that time prior to clean up for a special one on one activity with him of his choosing, like you say or something novel or different if that might help the situation get a little better.
I think it will, and I can even bring some of his favorite books at home or maybe just start to talk to him more about expressing his feeling through drawing and just doing different things. So just making him aware that we are aware that you know that he is missing Grandma Shirley and that there are some changes going on but that it’s ok at the same time too, so we are hoping on our end that if it is anything that we can do at home or I can do to follow through we will try to do that to be able to partner with you all at school to make sure that we are doing the right thing for him so.
Thanks so much.