Putting It All Together

Maggie:

So tell me some more about Cameron.

Latesha:

Well, I am in a single family home but my mom plays a very huge role with me and my children. She also helps to assist with coming in sometimes, working with me, with the teachers to make sure that Cameron’s needs are being met. And that, there are times of course as a teacher we know we don’t get the opportunity to always come out and go as much as we would like but my mom helps me out that way. And she usually comes and picks him up in the afternoon and does things with him. Dad is not really in the picture at this moment but he does call from time to time. That is one of the things I think that sometimes Cameron can start to show some type of, you know, behaviors after going and visiting dad, sometimes. Sometimes he will cry a little while or he may want or you know, call out for his dad at times so sometimes we call and dad might follow up but yeah my mom has been a very big help in that way.

Maggie:

Hmmm, so she goes by grandma?

Latesha:

She does, Grandma Shirley.

Maggie:

Ok Grandma Shirley. Good to know and you mentioned another son, and older son?

Latesha:

Yes I have a 13 year old. And, he is in the middle school right now and it’s so funny because I would think that with him being the older child that it would be one of these kind of relationships where they would just be ohhh. But they are just like opposites of everything. The older one like to do things with the older kids and to be by himself and he is always trying to come behind but they seem to get along really well.

Maggie:

Oh, I see and what’s his name?

Latesha:

His name is Caleb.

Maggie:

Oh, Caleb great ok good.

Now I am very flexible and I am happy to call you or email you at your convenience so if you let me know the best way to communicate, then I will try to do that what’s best for you.

Latesha:

I think email is best for me. I check my email periodically throughout the day, and if he is having a meltdown or if he is having some type of concerns that need to be addressed immediately then you can contact me by phone.

Maggie:

Ok, great.

Maggie:

And I also wanted to thank you for Grandma Shirley. I know you told me that she would be willing to help us out but I had no idea how useful and beneficial that would be for us. So she, you got her to go on the Pumpkin Patch field trip with us and it was just great. I know she had to tell you that, that Cameron did beautifully but not only was she a big help with him and it was special for him but she also helped the whole group.

But I wanted to talk to you, because I wondered how everything’s going at home. How’s Cameron doing at home? How’s he feeling? Is he the same old same old? What’s going on?

Latesha:

Well I think now that Grandma Shirley has started a new job, she has cut back on a little of the time that she was spending with Cameron of course. And I think that’s starting to take a toll on how he’s starting to behave a little bit at home. I don’t know. Have you seen any of that?

Maggie:

Well, you know I mentioned to you at pickup the other day that he had a couple of angry outbursts and I didn’t know where that was coming from. He got really mad at Chingun and he yelled at Chingun and it was over a marker and there were plenty other markers. And I just thought, you know, I’m checking the environment. And checking around, thinking is somebody setting him off? And so, I wondered what might be on his mind.

Latesha:

Yeah, I think like I said part of that. And also I started school this fall, so and I am also not there as much two afternoons out of the week. And he’s been having to go with my grandmother who’s his great grandmother. She is a lot older so she’s not as active with Cameron as my mom was before. So I think some of that is starting to wear on Cameron as well. But like I said, it’s very hard when you’re a single parent to really find someone who can come and to take care of him in the afternoons. I think that plays a big role in his behavior. And so what we’ve tried to do is, I’ve tried to come up with solutions to set some limits. And you know, still be able to try to understand and be more understanding with his behavior and how he’s acting at school.

Slide text:

Maggie asks Latesha about strategies she is using at home.

Latesha:

We are trying to, like you said, come up with some solutions and strategies at home. And one of the things, like I said before is just letting him know. My mom talks to him. She calls and she talks with him. We also have a little prize treasure box. And we also try to take special time out where we’re just doing activity and things. I just set aside a small amount of time where it’s just Cameron and I. And on my mom’s day off, she usually will come and get him. And sometimes she’ll pick him up early. I don’t know if last week or so, you saw when she came in early. Just one of those days to get off to come and spend some extra time with him. So I think once it maps out it after awhile that it will get better.

Maggie:

Oh that’s so good to hear. And I like all your ideas, they sound great. I mean, he is obviously feeling a little left out with everyone’s busy lives and so just being able to acknowledge that for him I think will be helpful. Like ‘You’re missing Grandma Shirley’ or ‘I heard Grandma Shirley is working a new job’ and just highlighting when he is going to see her and pulling out the books that he loves to read that might somehow relate to that would be a good idea. But in particular I like your idea about giving him some special time, being proactive, if we set a time in our day where I know that he typically, well it’s for all kids but you know, we always see it is the transition from clean up to into lunch so he is motivated to get to lunch but nobody likes clean up. And I just wonder if I could take that time prior to clean up for a special one on one activity with him of his choosing, like you say or something novel or different if that might help the situation get a little better.

Latesha:

I think it will, and I can even bring some of his favorite books at home or maybe just start to talk to him more about expressing his feeling through drawing and just doing different things. So just making him aware that we are aware that you know that he is missing Grandma Shirley and that there are some changes going on but that it’s ok at the same time too, so we are hoping on our end that if it is anything that we can do at home or I can do to follow through we will try to do that to be able to partner with you all at school to make sure that we are doing the right thing for him so.

Maggie:

Thanks so much.

Slide text:

The brainstorming in middle ground yielded some positive results for a while. Now new concerns have arisen in the classroom.

Maggie:

I wanted to share that the best time of day for him is right after he wakes up after nap. He is just as gentle as a lamb. He’s so cuddly and loving and he snuggles up and he just seems happy and peaceful. And that’s what I am trying to tap more of in the classroom for him, the happiness. He doesn’t have to be quiet and peaceful and cuddly all the time but those outbursts of anger or distress that we are seeing in him is really concerning us.

Slide text:

In response to Maggie’s inquiry about how things are going at home, Latesha shares her perspective.

Latesha:

Yeah, we’ve been having a rough time at home. Um, Cameron’s dad is no longer in the picture and yes it has caused him to show some behaviors that you know we haven’t seen in a very long time. And I have been concerned myself and we’ve had to try and figure out different things my mom and I that we could do with Cameron so that we could try to help him through this time. His dad still calls and he gets to talk to him on the phone but he is not as involved as he was before, so it’s taken a really hard toll on Cameron. And so I’m just trying whatever I can do to, you know, help him out at home and I know it must be difficult for you all too.

Maggie:

Well that, that I am so glad that you shared that because that makes a lot more sense to me. You know that one of his favorite books of all times is “He’s got the whole world in His Hands” we must read that book 15 times a day, we even sing it. And most recently there is that one picture in the middle of the book that looks a lot like Cameron and he is with a daddy. And Cameron’s just been very adamant and repetitive about saying Cameron Cameron’s daddy, daddy Cameron’s daddy and we acknowledge yeah that’s Cameron, yeah looks like Cameron’s daddy but just, you know, a little bit over the top. So this kind of puts it into context for us.

Knowing that he is unhappy and unsettled and actually pretty physical towards some of the other kids and you are saying that you are seeing some of that at home, would you be, would you consider that we maybe make a referral to have an assessment done that would check his behavior a little bit. I know that it would be helpful to us but I don’t know if you are ready to do that. You know the process is that you are able to make the referral to the public school system and they can come right here and do this for us here or we could do it too. But are we there yet? What do you think?

Latesha:

Yes actually I think that would be great. His older brother also, he’s just been diagnosed with ADHD and so he had some of these behaviors that we have seen before so I do know a little bit about the process. But I think that would be a great idea. You know, anything at this particular time would help because we want Cameron of course to feel successful.

Maggie:

There is another resource that we have. I don’t know if you have ever heard of it, you might of in your own work. But it’s called the, let me get this right, the parent training and information center.  It’s right here locally. And they do workshops with parent’s families to help them learn how to advocate for their child in the system or just in situations like that. I know of a few parents who have gone and have really found it useful and helpful. It’s free and it’s an open service and if you are interested I’d be glad to give you that contact information.

Latesha:

Yeah I think that would be great. Anything would help right now I think especially if it is going to help Cameron out. And we can still keep that communication open with you as far as what it is we need to do in the classroom I guess to make those transitions better for him too. But yes at home I know that would definitely help me.